This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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