Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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