How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
