I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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