Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
