Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
They are going to name an STD after you.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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