You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
