I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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