Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
