oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
