I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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