____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
