Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
