Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
