i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
