I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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