Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
