I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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