When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
