Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
