Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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