you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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