Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
