Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize