Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize