I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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