Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
