Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
