well most of my day revolves around power hour
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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