You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
