Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
