Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
