i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The air was thick with penises
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
