Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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