i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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