i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
