And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize