you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
