you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize