Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
