I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Randomize
