She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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