They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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