I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Non-Jews are for practice
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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