i think i have herpe
just one?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
