So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
