I hate all girls vehemently.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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