this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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