The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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