Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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