i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
