is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Houston, we have a blender
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
