Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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