I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
