Your tits are I can't wait for
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
