How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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