Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
