I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize