my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
