You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
