I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
