He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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