is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
