nutella sex= disaster
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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