yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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