It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
