we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
