We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
