But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
