I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize