even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
