my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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