Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
